i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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