Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize