Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
