I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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