I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
