PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize