i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
