She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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