Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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