Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
