I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize