Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
