I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
