If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
