I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize