dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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