Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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