Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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