She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
