He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She told me I should be a condom model.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
