Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
