i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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