So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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