its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize