She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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