Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
