I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
