farters have to be the big spoon...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
