Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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