Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
