How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize