babies were throwing up all over the place
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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