So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
