Buhtt sex?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
