was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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