If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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