i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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