I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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