it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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