You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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