if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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