Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
