return my video game
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So squirting runs in the family.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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