I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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