I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
