Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
