How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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