people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
