You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
