Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
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You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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