YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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