I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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