Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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