You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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