We're like a lot better than the average bears
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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