you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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