i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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