Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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