I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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