Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize