just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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