He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
