so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
